throughout this week,i felt sumtin in my heart…sumtin hard sgt…why don’t just thursday come quick??…cpatla…dah seksa sgt tggu ni…i could say that no one understands me..how’s i felt…i didn’t know who’s to turn to…who’s to tell bout me~n yup..the feeling was unxplained by words..the 1 who’s experienced this,knew it=)..n for the first time…fright+fear conquered me…i’m sory people,i’m lying kalau org tya,”takut x?”..rsa cam weird je if the answer was “xtakut pn…”..haha…sounds cam proud g2…haha…so,my answer pn jadi “takut jugakla…”…even x pn sebna’y..i feel notim jer~however,this week really tortured me…it made me to takut sgt ke tahap maxS…i got stomachache[4 bein nervous]..several times in a day..i got pictures wif my slip in ma hands that written all sorts of results for me~i got tired…i got really takut..n to calm down maself~..it’s just wif the creator,maha pembuat keputusan,maha adil, yg fate already written da pn by HIM…n my duty on that time was just to accept the fate,prepared mentally+physically 4 ketenangan n kekuatan wif everitim that were..if i fail,fail xdpat 10a,ainin,u need to redha…tue rezeki which Allah had decided 4 me…u have to bersyukur greatly…sape2 yg bersyukur,HE gives more..u did less from others ke..mum said..kite ni hmba dye…xde sape2 pn kite..jgnla pk ak kna dpt gini2..result len xbole dapat..eyy,sape kite nak decide cam2???..then 1 of my frens kata…kalau xbole a satu,so wat?lau xbole a dua,so wat?..lau xbole a for 3 subjects,so wat?..whooa…kinda best thinkin cam2..bagus betol kalau dapat pk cam2…HE almighty know everitim…we do sins wif the added of the day..so,maybe because of the sinS yg buat dapat cam2..
on monday,tuesday n wednesday,i was terribly+extremely takut..the food xnak masuk perut pom…[till i got gastric on results’ day…]…aduyai..i think i can’t bear the sadness kalau xbole result comey..feel like schooldays for 5 years xguna pn…result seblom ni,worthless jer..all my hard work+sacrifices were notim~one more tim,malu+frust n others la..pity on my parents+siblings+teachers+frens+seniors yg always ready tolong…yg olwez banyak gler help me when i’m schooling…i canT say that i’d probs,as they would come straight away…”xnak ya serabut wif problems…nak study beres je”…n i know all parents pn camnie..we’re appreciated,kan?..smpai hati ke kite…they would do everitim for us…just for the excellence…but kite,xkan xleh nak sacrifices sket 4 sumtin that they want…how could i do this kalau xbole result comey…i’m sorry sgt2…rasa bersalah sgt..howver i think,msti my parents yg would console me kalau dapat result teruk…they won’t show theirs..certainly la kan…all the oceans of books[u should see my books when i was in form five,okay…]..+all the handouts+kije2 skul..seemed worthless..
be4 i stepped out from the car,yup…i accept both…i redha n bole time kalau dapat teruk pn…honestly!..it’s Allah’s decision…n He know better that the results should always suit us,suits our hard works be4…n believe me,u’ll owez tenang kalau pk cam2…i was contented wif what i’d done…but after that,my hands xbole lari from jadi sejuk…tp,not macam ice la…haha..seeing frens pn akan releasedkan tension nak tau result tu…=)…
so,the gathering started,the desk wif our slips da already dop dpan pn…then,cikgu jizah gave the taklimat bout our graduation nanti 30 april soon..n lastly,…”okay,…sorang2…datang depan…”….n silence filled the atmosphere...eyy,sape yg berani?????…n salute la temad,he’s the 1 yg bangun n pegi kat meja untuk klas dye,followed by others,n pokka n syeme for my class…my hand was in kuyah’s…wahaha…gurls xde org pn nak bgn..”nyn,jom g…”..kuyah said when she saw the boys were already berkerumun pn around the desk for 5alpha…n we’re there..n i’m in front of her..YA ALLAH..ak menerima segala takdirMu ya Allah…n i was!..n i made a step 4ward..my eyes da macam helang daa…sbb kene intai..haha..n i saw…[since my name is Ainin sofia,001 lagi no. angka giliran.so of course,my slip was above others]..
sijil pelajaran malaysia 2008
ainin sofia bnti mohamad napi..
my eyes catchim da numbers..
~1119 cambridge 1a~
ya ALLAH….ALHAMDULLILAH YA ALLAH…SEGALA PUJI BAGIMU,YA ALLAH…
n the 1st person who knew?..kuyah!!!…i hugged her wif segala kesyukuran kepadaMu,ya Allah..this success isn’t mine..i know it’s from HIM…if He didn’t want me to obtain this,HE will do it anyway….n my abah said?….it’s ujian….i’m not extremely happy…but i’m happy…happy to cheer my parents…happy that my hard works+sacrifices+others were worthy…my teachers,especially teacher sue, i didn’t know how to thanks them…semoga mereka mendapat secukup2+selebih2 balasan…happy that ALLAH heard my doa+my each words…believe me…kalau nak pape,cakapla ng DIA…segala ape yg engkau hajatkan,just tell HIM..DIA xkan kecwakan sesape,but the most important things,that i want to stressed here,bersangka baiklah dgn DIA…sbb indeed,HE said”AKU menurut sangkaan hambaku”…n Yakinlah dengan janji DIA…sape2 yg berusaha,dia dapat hasilnya..to all my frens,kuyah,ja,syeme,gobox,ade,cimut,luq,cerah,cerah jepom,ca,amie,zaid, n others…congrats evryone…but to my dear frens yg didnt make it…this isn’t the end..all of u ade rezeki kat laen..yg maybe lagi greater..deem HIM..i know,u oll were doing the best in it..but the rezeki…Allah yg tentukan…just remmber all things happen have their own reasons..i know that i won’t heal ur hurt but i do emphatise..i know all of u were preparing tooth n nail for it…ok,i’m sorry,sorry,sorry, ya…next time is there for us~..struggle toward it…dont make this as ur plemah semangat,instead sbagai pembakar semgt yg lebih lagi…x impossible kalau pahni dapat 4flat ke..ya Allah,tenangkan rakan-rakanku,ya Allah..
~segala puji bagimu,ya Allah~
notes=this post is tremendously,specially 4 maself..so,i would read it+indulge maself in it again n again in the future..